My mental illness life
Hi everyone! My name is Joelle, I'm 18 years old (soon 19) and I'm from Canada. As the title says, I have some issues with mental illnesses. This blog is about my journey through life while dealing with my illnesses.
I have three main illnesses that I have to deal with every day.
First, there is the Borderline Personnality Disordrer (BPD). Basically, this mental health problem is the stereotype you have about bipolarity. My emotions can change in a matter of seconds and I live them in very extreme way. Either I can scream, cry, or even yell of joy. When I'm angry, I can bang my head against the wall, I can't control myself or what I could do or even say in those moments. When I'm sad, I have to rush to my mom so she could convince me not to kill myself. It may sound to you like I am just looking for attention, but I actually go through all these things almost every day.
Second, there is the social anxiety disorder (or social phobia). I can't even go to public places without almost crying every time. I don't call, I do mail. If I really have to call somewhere, my mom does it for me. It's the only way I don't panic or cry when someone is talking on the phone. Even seeing my friends takes me all I have. That one friend it's been almost 11 years we know each other, my own best friend, I just started to meet her in public places. Social anxiety tear my whole life apart. I'm scared that people will judge me for almost everything I could do.
Third, there is the depression. I was just diagnosed with a depression a few weeks ago. Still, since I droped out of college this year (I'm starting again in September) and that I got fired, I stay home, stare at the ceiling and sleep all day. Yeah, sometimes I see people, I laugh, but while I do those things, it seems like all of this isn't me. It feels like I'm actually outside of my body watching the scene happening without I can do anything about it.
This blog is going to be my journey with those three illnesses and how I react to events happening in my life, I'll share when I'm proud of something I overcame or of something I did. I'll also share when I'm disappointed about something that happened and how I dealt with it. You're going to be the person that watches the film of my life.
Take some popcorn, it's going to be exhalting.
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